This post was never meant to be written

Harold Camping

You read that right. This post was never meant to be written. Just ask Harold Camping, a man who predicted doomsday once, lived through it to predict a second one, all twice over.

In my earlier post warning you about what would not happen today (and openly mocking Camping in the process) I promised to return on May the 22nd and officially mock those who claimed today was the rapture. Here I am. And for the rest of us who went through today like any other normal, frustrating (or unbelievably interesting) day, mazel tov!

If, as Family Radio claimed, Jesus really did come and take away those he thought were worthy to live, he has done it rather discretely, and he has forgotten me: perhaps I was flying low, out of his radar. I often do that.

I’m surprised Harold Camping still have face to show. From what I hear, lucky listeners of Family Radio can still hear Camping rumbling (his voice was known to be deep and sonorous); and he has not cancelled his sermon scheduled for tomorrow. Wait, he had a sermon scheduled for tomorrow? Apparently Camping had no conviction in his own prediction.

“I’ll be interested in what’s happening on the other side of the world as this begins,” Camping said. “There is no Plan B.” Well, Mr Camping, there never was any plan A.

The idea was taken pat as it came by an atheist and entrepreneur from North Hampshire who set up a service to look after the pets of those who believe they will be raptured. He currently has over 250 clients who are paying up to $135 to have their pets picked up and cared for after disaster strikes.

“They would be disappointed twice,” he told the Wall Street Journal, “once because they weren’t raptured and again because I don’t do refunds.”

It makes me wonder why I did not come up with something myself. Perhaps because in this other side of the world (as Camping puts it) nobody believed in the old man who, according to Wikipedia (yes, he has his own Wiki page) is known for end of world predictions.

And yet, Camping is not the only man who is fond of having judgement day come in his lifetime. In fact it reminds me of physicists over many generations who always hoped the theory of everything would be formulated in their generation.

Back on October the 22nd, 1844, followers of Millerite movement founder and American Baptist preacher, William Miller, also lived through Miller’s prediction of doomsday and were composed enough to cover up their tracks by calling it the Great Disappointment, perhaps inspired by the Great Depression or the Great Sea or Alexander the Great or Great Miller himself.

After this first prediction turned out to become the Great Disappointment, Miller is believed to have said to a friend:

Some are tauntingly enquiring, “Have you not gone up?” Even little children in the streets are shouting continually to passersby, “Have you a ticket to go up?” The public prints, of the most fashionable and popular kind …are caricaturing in the most shameful manner of the “white robes of the saints…”

Now I might say that was the least of what he deserved because, apparently, he went on giving dates until the day before he died. It makes one think if he was not predicting his own end? In fact Camping seems to me to be following suit.

Then in 1914, based on the Book of Daniel, Jehovah’s witnesses proclaimed that the war of Armageddon was coming. This was one of several such predictions, and all, it is needless to say, were wrong.

August 18, 1999 was the end of the world, at least for the American psychic Charles Criswell King (the same fellow who said Denver would be struck by a ray from outer space.) Then came Y2K, the year 2000, when people believed no computer on earth would be able to handle the coming of 01/01/2000. Mysteriously enough, they did. Nobody still knows why.

The latest, trendiest prediction, ironically, dates back to the Mayans whose calendar ended on December the 21st 2012. Some say this is the end of the world, a day of cataclysms, while some say the Mayans just ran out of stone to etch the 22nd day in. For some reason I am inclined towards the second explanation though it is obviously wrong.

What we also need to consider was that for quite a few years since the Mayan prediction we never had the months of July and August, and August never came for quite a few years even after Caesar created a July after himself and Augustus Caesar promptly followed him. Anyway, the point is that these alterations may put off the actual Mayan dates by many years.

A new Facebook page opened, called Post Rapture Looting that said ‘When everyone is gone and God’s not looking, we need to pick up some sweet stereo equipment and maybe some new furniture for the mansion we’re going to squat in.’

300, 000 people joined in. 19, 370 people had liked it as of 2138 hours (that is to say, three hours and thirty-eight minutes after the end of the world.) Atheist and humanitarian groups all over America held after rapture parties and people got T-shirts with I survived the rapture! written on them.

Some people came up with predictions for Camping himself. One I particularly liked was that ‘Mr Camping’s next business venture will be Rev Camping’s school of mind bending where you too can learn his smooth brainwashing skills… sign up now!’

Huffington Post’s Comedy section came up with 21 reasons why May 21 is not judgement day. It was a silly set of reasons, but entertaining, nonetheless.

Why does it not surprise me that Camping is nowhere to be seen? Perhaps he is with his wife, listening to the radio or watching TV because that is what he said he would be doing during the final moments. But I can vouch for him that he is going to turn up for his sermon tomorrow… unless he is right. Too late for that I suppose, eh?

The man certainly will have a lot of explaining to do, but, perhaps, like the last time his predictions (expectedly) turned out to be false, he still has some more research to do. By all means, Mr Camping, go right ahead!

2 thoughts on “This post was never meant to be written

  1. Pingback: Pingback: 2012 Doomsday Theory – Is the End of Time Near?

  2. Pingback: Pingback: Is 2012 Real ? Find out the truth!

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