Extracts from the Cynic’s Wordbook – Part VIII – the letter D

See previously entered letters C, J, K, M &c. here.

  1. Dad – noun A father whom his vulgar children do not respect.
  2. Dandy – noun One who professes a singularity of opinion with regard to his own merits, accentuating his eccentricity with his clothes.
  3. Day – noun A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
  4. Decide – verb To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set.
  5. Defame – noun To lie about another. To tell the truth about another.
  6. Defraud – verb To impart instruction and experience to the confiding.
  7. Demon – noun A man whose cruelties are related in the newspapers. See Fiend in Human Shape.
  8. Deny – verb See Hurl back the Allegation.
  9. Deserve – noun The quality of being entitled to what somebody else obtains.
  10. Dice – noun Small polka-dotted cubes of ivory, constructed like a lawyer to lie on any side, but commonly on the wrong one.

Extracts from the Cynic's Wordbook – Part VIII – the letter D

See previously entered letters C, J, K, M &c. here.

  1. Dadnoun A father whom his vulgar children do not respect.
  2. Dandynoun One who professes a singularity of opinion with regard to his own merits, accentuating his eccentricity with his clothes.
  3. Daynoun A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
  4. Decideverb To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set.
  5. Defamenoun To lie about another. To tell the truth about another.
  6. Defraudverb To impart instruction and experience to the confiding.
  7. Demonnoun A man whose cruelties are related in the newspapers. See Fiend in Human Shape.
  8. Denyverb See Hurl back the Allegation.
  9. Deservenoun The quality of being entitled to what somebody else obtains.
  10. Dicenoun Small polka-dotted cubes of ivory, constructed like a lawyer to lie on any side, but commonly on the wrong one.

Extracts from the Cynic’s Wordbook – Part VI – the letter R

Previous entries: P, M, K, C, J. Notice I have listed double the number of extracts under this letter. This is simply because these are some of the finest in the whole book by Bierce. A little bonus for you to chew and occasionally swallow and digest. Read on:

  1. Recruit – noun A person distinguishable from a civilian by his uniform and a soldier from his gait.
  2. Reform – noun A campaign transparency, which is laid aside as soon as it has served its purpose; a thing that mostly satisfies reformers as opposed to reformation.
  3. Relations - noun, plural People that you call on, or that call on you, according to whether they are rich or poor.
  4. Remarkable – adjective The manner in which that fool Jones gets on, when we, who are so much more talented, are left out in the cold.
  5. Remote – adjective The day when merit will be in more demand than money.
  6. Removable – adjective An official who hasn’t any influence at headquarters.
  7. Rent – noun An outrage imposed by blood-sucking vampires on virtuous sons of toil.
  8. Republic – noun A form of government in which equal justice is administered to all who can afford to pay for it.
  9. Resident – noun Unable to leave.
  10. Resign – verb A good thing to do when you are going to be kicked out.
  11. Revelation – noun Learning late in life that you are a fool.
  12. Revenge – noun Sending your girl’s love letter to a rival after he has married her.
  13. Reverence – noun The spiritual attitude of a man to a god and a dog to man.
  14. Revolver – noun An argument used by temporary maniacs.
  15. Riddle – noun Who elects our rulers?
  16. Right – noun A cipher which has no value unless the numeral Might is placed before it.
  17. Riot – noun A farce, which in Europe becomes a drama; a popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
  18. Robber – noun Vulgar name for one who is successful in obtaining the property of others.
  19. Rose – noun Same thing as a skunk.
  20. Rude – noun Reminding an old lady of the good times you had forty years ago.

Extracts from the Cynic's Wordbook – Part VI – the letter R

Previous entries: P, M, K, C, J. Notice I have listed double the number of extracts under this letter. This is simply because these are some of the finest in the whole book by Bierce. A little bonus for you to chew and occasionally swallow and digest. Read on:

  1. Recruit – noun A person distinguishable from a civilian by his uniform and a soldier from his gait.
  2. Reform – noun A campaign transparency, which is laid aside as soon as it has served its purpose; a thing that mostly satisfies reformers as opposed to reformation.
  3. Relations - noun, plural People that you call on, or that call on you, according to whether they are rich or poor.
  4. Remarkable – adjective The manner in which that fool Jones gets on, when we, who are so much more talented, are left out in the cold.
  5. Remote – adjective The day when merit will be in more demand than money.
  6. Removable – adjective An official who hasn’t any influence at headquarters.
  7. Rent – noun An outrage imposed by blood-sucking vampires on virtuous sons of toil.
  8. Republic – noun A form of government in which equal justice is administered to all who can afford to pay for it.
  9. Resident – noun Unable to leave.
  10. Resign – verb A good thing to do when you are going to be kicked out.
  11. Revelation – noun Learning late in life that you are a fool.
  12. Revenge – noun Sending your girl’s love letter to a rival after he has married her.
  13. Reverence – noun The spiritual attitude of a man to a god and a dog to man.
  14. Revolver – noun An argument used by temporary maniacs.
  15. Riddle – noun Who elects our rulers?
  16. Right – noun A cipher which has no value unless the numeral Might is placed before it.
  17. Riot – noun A farce, which in Europe becomes a drama; a popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
  18. Robber – noun Vulgar name for one who is successful in obtaining the property of others.
  19. Rose – noun Same thing as a skunk.
  20. Rude – noun Reminding an old lady of the good times you had forty years ago.

Extracts from the Cynic’s Wordbook – Part V – the letter J

You have been with me through entries under the letters P, M, K, and C. Today, we shall read through J.

  1. J – is a consonant in English, but some nations use it as a vowel–than which nothing could be more absurd. Its original form, which has been but slightly modified, was that of the tail of a subdued dog, and it was not a letter but a character, standing for a latin verb, jacere, ‘to throw,’ because when a stone is thrown at a dog the dog’s tail assumes that shape. This is the origin of the letter, as expounded by the renowned Dr Jocolpus Bumer, of the University of Belgrade, who established his conclusions on the subject in a work of three quarto volumes and committed suicide on being reminded that the j in the Roman alphabet had originally no curl.
  2. Jealous – adjective Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.
  3. Jealousy – noun The seamy side of love.
  4. Jews-harp – noun An unmusical instrument, played by holding it fast with the teeth and trying to brush it away with the finger.
  5. Joss-sticks – noun Small sticks burned by the Chinese in their pagan tomfoolery, in imitation of certain sacred rites of our holy religion.
  6. Judge – noun A person who is always interfering in disputes in which he has no personal interest.
  7. Jurisprudence – noun The kind of prudence that keeps one inside the law.
  8. Jury – noun A number of persons appointed by a court to assist the attorneys in preventing the law from degenerating into justice.
  9. Justice – noun A commodity which is a more or less adulterated condition the State sells to the citizen as a reward for his allegiance, taxes and personal service.
  10. Jute – noun A plant grown in India, the fruit of which supplies nutritious diet to the directors of our State prison.

Extracts from the Cynic's Wordbook – Part V – the letter J

You have been with me through entries under the letters P, M, K, and C. Today, we shall read through J.

  1. J – is a consonant in English, but some nations use it as a vowel–than which nothing could be more absurd. Its original form, which has been but slightly modified, was that of the tail of a subdued dog, and it was not a letter but a character, standing for a latin verb, jacere, ‘to throw,’ because when a stone is thrown at a dog the dog’s tail assumes that shape. This is the origin of the letter, as expounded by the renowned Dr Jocolpus Bumer, of the University of Belgrade, who established his conclusions on the subject in a work of three quarto volumes and committed suicide on being reminded that the j in the Roman alphabet had originally no curl.
  2. Jealous – adjective Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.
  3. Jealousy – noun The seamy side of love.
  4. Jews-harp – noun An unmusical instrument, played by holding it fast with the teeth and trying to brush it away with the finger.
  5. Joss-sticks – noun Small sticks burned by the Chinese in their pagan tomfoolery, in imitation of certain sacred rites of our holy religion.
  6. Judge – noun A person who is always interfering in disputes in which he has no personal interest.
  7. Jurisprudence – noun The kind of prudence that keeps one inside the law.
  8. Jury – noun A number of persons appointed by a court to assist the attorneys in preventing the law from degenerating into justice.
  9. Justice – noun A commodity which is a more or less adulterated condition the State sells to the citizen as a reward for his allegiance, taxes and personal service.
  10. Jute – noun A plant grown in India, the fruit of which supplies nutritious diet to the directors of our State prison.

Extracts from the Cynic’s Wordbook – Part IV – the letter C

Today is the day of the letter C. ’nuff said. Or maybe, ’nuff seen. Whatever that means. We’ve read through P, M and K. Read on.

  1. Cabbage – noun A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man’s head.
  2. Calamity – noun A more than commonly plain and unmistakable reminder that the affairs of this life are not of our own ordering. Calamities are of two types: misfortune to ourselves and good fortune to others.
  3. Capital – noun The seat of misgovernment. That which provides the fire, the pot, the dinner, the table and the knife and fork for the anarchist.
  4. Censor – noun An officer of certain governments, employed to suppress the works of genius.
  5. Chemise – noun Don’t know what it means.
  6. Church – noun A place where the parson worships God and women worship the parson.
  7. Club – noun An association of men for purposes of drunkenness, gluttony, unholy hilarity, murder, sacrilege and the slandering of mothers, wives and sisters. For this definition I am indebted to several estimable ladies who have the best means of information, their husbands being members of several clubs.
  8. Comet – noun An excuse for being out late at night and going home drunk in the morning.
  9. Commerce – noun A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of the money belonging to E.
  10. Confidant, confidante – noun One entrusted by A with the secrets of B,confided to him by C.

Extracts from the Cynic's Wordbook – Part IV – the letter C

Today is the day of the letter C. ’nuff said. Or maybe, ’nuff seen. Whatever that means. We’ve read through P, M and K. Read on.

  1. Cabbage – noun A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man’s head.
  2. Calamity – noun A more than commonly plain and unmistakable reminder that the affairs of this life are not of our own ordering. Calamities are of two types: misfortune to ourselves and good fortune to others.
  3. Capital – noun The seat of misgovernment. That which provides the fire, the pot, the dinner, the table and the knife and fork for the anarchist.
  4. Censor – noun An officer of certain governments, employed to suppress the works of genius.
  5. Chemise – noun Don’t know what it means.
  6. Church – noun A place where the parson worships God and women worship the parson.
  7. Club – noun An association of men for purposes of drunkenness, gluttony, unholy hilarity, murder, sacrilege and the slandering of mothers, wives and sisters. For this definition I am indebted to several estimable ladies who have the best means of information, their husbands being members of several clubs.
  8. Comet – noun An excuse for being out late at night and going home drunk in the morning.
  9. Commerce – noun A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of the money belonging to E.
  10. Confidant, confidante – noun One entrusted by A with the secrets of B,confided to him by C.

Extracts from the Cynic's Wordbook – Part III – the letter K

~ Pour elle.~

The letter KThis is the third letter we are coming to this month, the letter K. We have already seen P and M before and have no doubt enjoyed them immensely. Today, we shall see what Bierce has to offer us for the letter K.

  1. Kangaroonoun An unconventional kind of animal which in shape is farther than any other from being the square of its base.
  2. Killverb To create a vacancy without nominating a successor.
  3. Kiltnoun A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.
  4. Kindnessnoun A brief preface to ten volumes of exaction.
  5. Kingnoun A male person commonly known in America as a ‘crowned head,’ although he never wears a crown and has usually no head to speak of.
  6. King’s Evil - noun A malady that was once cured by the touch of the sovereign, but has now to be treated by the physicians.
  7. Kissnoun A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for ‘bliss.’ It is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding; but the manner of its performance is unknown to this lexicographer.
  8. Kleptomaniacnoun A rich thief.
  9. Korannoun A book which the Mohammedans foolishly believe to have been written by the divine inspiration, but which Christians know to be a wicked imposture, contrary to the Holy Scriptures.
  10. Krishnanoun A form under which the pretended god Vishnu became incarnate. A very likely story indeed.

Extracts from the Cynic’s Wordbook – Part III – the letter K

~ Pour elle.~

The letter KThis is the third letter we are coming to this month, the letter K. We have already seen P and M before and have no doubt enjoyed them immensely. Today, we shall see what Bierce has to offer us for the letter K.

  1. Kangaroonoun An unconventional kind of animal which in shape is farther than any other from being the square of its base.
  2. Killverb To create a vacancy without nominating a successor.
  3. Kiltnoun A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.
  4. Kindnessnoun A brief preface to ten volumes of exaction.
  5. Kingnoun A male person commonly known in America as a ‘crowned head,’ although he never wears a crown and has usually no head to speak of.
  6. King’s Evil - noun A malady that was once cured by the touch of the sovereign, but has now to be treated by the physicians.
  7. Kissnoun A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for ‘bliss.’ It is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding; but the manner of its performance is unknown to this lexicographer.
  8. Kleptomaniacnoun A rich thief.
  9. Korannoun A book which the Mohammedans foolishly believe to have been written by the divine inspiration, but which Christians know to be a wicked imposture, contrary to the Holy Scriptures.
  10. Krishnanoun A form under which the pretended god Vishnu became incarnate. A very likely story indeed.